After visibly slimming down, Jennifer Judson is still thinking of herself as fat. In the latest issue of Redbook magazine, the “American Idol” winner admits that when she goes shopping she finds herself looking for extra-large clothing.

Jennifer Hudson still thinking of herself as fatWho can say that Jennifer Hudson hasn’t achieved the silhouette that, esthetically speaking, ranges in the limits of the perfect body in this century? Having left the extra-slim ideals behind, the American women, and not only, aspire to toned bodies, with the right curves in the right places. And, as a woman who has had the experience of being overweight, the “American Idol” alum still hasn’t managed to get rid of some fat girl stereotype thinking.

“I’m getting used to my new self more than anything else. I got used to being plus-sized and knowing how to be that”, says Jennifer Hudson this time of year, in an interview to Redbook. “I keep thinking that I probably need an extra-large or a large and the stylist is like, ‘No, you need a medium or a small.”

Don’t think that Hudson is superhuman, just for being able to adopt the Weight Watchers diet as a lifestyle. Even though she works out four days a week and eliminated the unhealthy, chaotic eating habits, she admits to still being tempted by certain foods.

“My biggest thing is banana pudding”, says Hudson, adding that nobody is allowed to bring it into her home. “It’s the devil”, the singer says, “I can’t control myself. So why put it in my domain?”

As Christmas is getting closer with each day, Jennifer has come up with a plan to get through the holidays with less pain and suffering in the heart. Hudson’s family, including her mother, her brother and her 7-year-old nephew were killed in 2008. Earlier this year, she took the stand in the ongoing trial.

“You can never fully get complete closure — whatever that means”, Jennifer said. But she found a way to somehow transform the heartache into heart balm. “I was wondering, ‘How can we turn a negative around make it a positive thing?’ And so we came up with giving back.” In honor of her nephew, 31-year-old Jennifer put the basis of the Julian D. King Gift Foundation Dinner & Toy Drive, which has the purpose of granting wishes on Christmas to those children who have made significant progress in school.

Read the whole interview of Jennifer Hudson, in the upcoming issue of Redbook, available starting November 3.