Who hasn’t gone through a breakup in their life? Most of us, when trying to figure out how to deal with the post breakup stress, encounter a number of parasite thoughts that won’t let them go on with their professional or social chores and sometimes impair their overall living. Since breakups are part of everyone’s reality, we need to find healthy ways of coping with it.
Write about it. Getting your feelings out causes a great deal of release. As there are so many emotions involved in a split, you need to sort them and confront them. You will probably have the tendency of writing what you think about what happened, but when you see that happening, stop for a moment and try and seek your emotions rather than your thoughts. You may start with “I feel like…” and continue with “I am stupid because I didn’t see it coming”, but that is not something you feel. That is an idea, not a feeling. Feelings you may experience are anger, loneliness, rejection, uncertainty, sadness and so on.
Take care of yourself. You probably want to hit the self-destruction button on yourself. After all, if you got dumped, you must not be worth anybody’s time, or love, right? Even though your perception is of that nature, deep down inside, you know you have a bunch of qualities, but you’re just not ready to deal with them in a productive manner at this point. Don’t starve yourself, don’t waste your hours in bed watching second-hand productions, don’t overfeed. Instead, think of yourself as a person that needs to care for a wound. Let that part of yourself that is lucid and mature to nurse the part of you that is wounded. You’ll be amazed how good of a healer you are.
Remind yourself who you are. When you are in a relationship, you tend to dissolve part of your personality into that relationship, as well as your partner. You get to do things in a certain way, as a couple. Now, that you are not a couple anymore, you have the opportunity of rediscovering yourself by taking back that part of you that you put into the mix. Look around you and observe the things that you own that are just gorgeous and you haven’t paid attention to in quite a while. See the things you have done or contributed to, that have nothing to do with your ex. You may have an amazing house, an admirable career, or an exquisite taste in shoes. The point is to realize that even though your partner left, he or she didn’t take with him/her everything that is valuable in your life.